19/ 100 Tuk Tuk Bed Dogs
Jodhpur appeared to be the town where Tuk Tuks went to die. It seemed as though no narrow street nor back lane was complete unless there was the slowly corroding carcass of one of these auto-rickshaws half blocking the way.
One small detail that is easy to miss in the photograph above is the back of the meter with its little ‘For Hire’ badge. Now, on our three trips to India we have probably used, oh let’s say, about 50 Tuk Tuks, and not one of those has had a working meter. Instead of an accurately calculated fare, a price is agreed upon when you tell them your destination. The price quoted will be calculated by the driver of the Tuk Tuk using a secret mental algorithm based upon however much money they think they can possibly get away with asking for, carefully balanced against the risk of scaring away the tourists.
When it comes to prices the Uber app is actually quite useful. Although, in our experience, you are unlikely to ever be able to order a Tuk Tuk through the Uber app, it will still give you a nice ballpark figure for your journey. I know the reason Tuk Tuk drivers are reluctant to accept Uber bookings is because the fares are set too low (just as they are for cars too) but I can adjust for that. If Uber says a trip will be Rs100 and your driver is quoting Rs500 you know you are being ripped off. If Uber says Rs100 I think Rs150 is a fair compromise.
Their fare calculations are even more remarkable because they probably have no idea whereabouts you are actually wanting them to take you.
Once you have agreed to pay too much for your ride you then have to hope that the driver has a clue where the destination is. If it is a landmark – Jaipur City Palace for example – they will know exactly where that is. If it is your apartment at 26A, 33 Vinoba Marg, C-Scheme, they will tell you with complete confidence that they know exactly where it is. Then, after driving for 5 minutes, during which time you probably only managed to move about 7 metres in the heavy traffic, they will ask you to show them the destination on Google maps because they have absolutely no idea where you want to go at all. Except that won’t work either because my Google maps is in English, and they can’t read the street names.
One of two things then happen depending upon whether it is raining or not. The driver will call someone else and rabbit away in Hindi for several minutes, all while still driving along to an unknown destination, cutting in front of every other vehicle, even though he doesn’t know the way. Then they will turn to ask me something I don’t understand and keep demanding the same thing over and over as if repeating it will help me figure it out.
If it is raining I call upon my inner calm, stick with it, and attempt to interpret the question or simply give turn by turn directions like a human satnav with a pointy finger. If it isn’t raining I generally lose it and get out and walk the rest of the way in a rage (sorry Fiona…).
We asked one of our hosts about this strange dance and he told us it was simply because they didn’t want to let us down by admitting they didn’t know where we were going.
